Expect another...and more and more and more..

"If I was in her place I'd be more insulting, I'd be even more rude!"
'Don't say that, You don't have a right to shout at her because of this silly stupid girl, I said with my eyes welling up!'
"do not cry in front of me, it doesn't matter to me so talk to me like a normal sane person or get out of my face."
'I don't even want to talk to you right now, but i wont stand for this anymore, you aren't home all day and you cant home at night and judge my mother, stay home and see how she talks to her all day'
"Yes, Now that's what i get for busting my ass all day and working for you guys!"
'no one told you to work, its your own choice..you have made me more sad and made me cry more than anyone can in the past 2 years. I don't know what to do anymore to make you happy or to grab your attention, I've done it all and I've tried it all, i cant do this anymore. You have no control anymore and i wont do anything according to what makes you happy or what makes you proud because nothing works!'
" well you have disappointed me more than anyone ever could.don't pull this emotional crap on me. I'm dam tired of you and your stupid routines"

My father's stern voice caught me when we both admitted I'm going nowhere and I can't get there. This mood is taxing to me.
I can't be held guilty for every situation that has unfolded.God damn it I wish he could hear me, see me , see what I can make and I will prove to him that I am worth something!

But that was all yesterday today I'm filled with guilt, my broken promises and the way I acted out, the total drunken mood swings of depression, the disability of freedom and the reckless abandon that I was nothing more than a jerk.
His decisions never made sense but I have grown and learned to respect them!