I can manage it. It doesn't overwhelm me. It doesn't control my life. I'd just rather it not exist though. I know that's not a realistic hope, though I hope it can become less and less and not noticeable to me. I feel like I'm losing people very very quickly.I can't even label what this is with me, because honestly I do feel things now, and I can't understand a lot of things, but for the most part with these kind of things, I'm just an outsider looking in. I felt horrible last night. Even though mohsin was never a great friend he was a big part of our lives and to see him act that way, upset me a great deal. I know things didn't go well but I'd love to be able to find the right balance of it. I do miss how things were. All of it seems long ago and I want it back. I really do feel like I am awakening and seeing a new side to life and to people and specially to myself.
I'm good for now though. Nadal just got beaten at the French open for the first time ever. =)
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