I've lost all feeling in my chest again

I don't like talking about the past because its really no good. It's the past for a reason. I don't want it now, I don't want it in my future.

So what do you do when you run into a sort of ex.Running into him was weird because I talked well mentioned his name after god knows how long, yesterday only.so well in our situation there was a nod of the head, an awkward hi and a quick hug and before I could've reacted he disappeared.

So I can't remember whether this time last year I was happy happier or sadder than I am right now. maybe I should go back read my entries and figure that out.

In other news I had a football related argument today after a long time. Felt good to fight about something that actually means something to me. And i showed my bestfriend all these cool football videos on youtube that i used to watch a long time ago. Didn't feel as horrible as i though it would. Maybe I have gotten over it.

Where there is pain, there is healing

I've become very frustrated by school and all the work there. And how all of a sudden people think i'm a dentist and come to me with all sorts of issues and expect me to be there. i treated or took 5 people to the dentist in the past week including my dads bestfriend's wife and my khala.. I was so pissed because they called at the last minute and expected to be treated like royalty. I don't know how my father has been handling this for almost 30 years now. pain i swear. but there's another reason why I'm even more frustrated.

I'm frustrated because I get the feeling I've been judged quite a lot lately, and that frustrates me because I don't really judge others. I say that, as everyone judges, even just a little bit, and I am on the low end of that scale. The only judgement I have of others, are how they are with me. What I mean is, about some people you can hear rumours that they are a bitch or a bastard, but I don't take them as that if they've never been that way with me, I'll just take them for who they are with me. So to get judged on how I look, how I sound, how I dress, the music I like, the movies I like etc. I really do not like, because really it is very unfair, and that is why I do not judge others on those things.

to end it.. dino said something yesterday which really struck me and brought back good memories.
'Where there is pain, there is healing'.. =)