Weird place, even weirder people

So the 1st week was eventful. I finally got to know how it feels to be a dentist. Its a pain in your back!
I did 2 hand scalings which was pretty gross. I could not have ever in my life imagined people have such bad oral hygiene. It was just sick. But then we had the funny weird patients to keep us entertained. Michall's patient went to sleep while she was doing the scaling. =P And when she asked him how many packs do you smoke in a day because she saw the pack in his packet the idiot said 'i don't smoke doctor sahiba i juts keep them in my pocket!' Imagine.
Yet another patient came with grossly carious teeth and horrific stains. So this house officer asked him to quit smoking because then the scaling wont be any good and that it was harming his teeth aswell. He spoke back to her and said 'i smoke so much, meray keeray to jal jaana chahye'
That was like the height of it.
So yeh all in all not all that bad so far!

Now i know how it feels to have your privacy invaded and being forced to talk about crap you dont want to talk about.
So anyway 3rd year so far. blah. boring
Michall did her 1st hand scaling today and she rocked it=) we behaved like geeks and retards and tookpictures of her giving her 1st prescriptions=P hahahahaha but she was so happy about it. Other than that yeh not bad.
Now that we've been divided in groups i dont meet anyone except the 13 people in your group. And thankgod i have sane people like chucks and michall and akhrot and shazil. so yeaa. it wont be that bad=). Its actually fun to be facing patients and feeling like doctors. Chucks volunteered to be my 1st patient so i reciprocated=P i dont trust him to do my scaling but fine whatever. =P im being a good friend =P
champions league today. Manutd vs Inter milan.knock out stages. yessss=) another fun night and yet another night when i wont sleep=P

A new beginning

AAaaaaaaa
3rd Year starts tomorrow.
Lets see how this one goes down!

Precocious puberty I tell you.

Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13



http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

Misplaced agression

I'm so tired of all the bitching I've been doing lately. But that's really how i feel.

I can't ever feel more alone. I honestly cant. I thought this year would be better. I'm hanging my head and I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming and I'm wishing. I'm a wreck.
I'm sick of all these times, all these let downs. I don't want to go back to school because it'll just hurt more. I don't want to look around and not see the familiar faces. I don't want to be buried under those expectations again. I don't want to mingle with people who aren't my friends, I fucking don't. I cant and I don't want to.

This is crazy to admit. I lost it all. I gave it my all. My magic is gone.
I don't even know where the fuck all this is coming from!

Basic Thinking Breakdown

Alright, I have a plan. OK, no I don't, but I need one. I don't know why I'm thinking so much into the future these days!
How to deal with this sort of situation? I don't know what's causing it. I'm sure my being really upset lately has something to do with it, but that's not something that I can just snap my fingers and fix. And perhaps the lack of sleep has something to do with it too. So how do I deal with THAT? I can't.I can't do it alone and I'm going to be damned if I talk to ANYONE about it.
I don't want to talk about it. I probably shouldn't even be writing it, knowing at least two of my friends and one very random person but someone i adore reads this. Eh..who cares, this has been on my mind pretty heavily.

I think I need to find a way to get more rest. This is really bad for me.

my 25

Im not pathetic enough to do this on facebook but i am pathetic enough to write it here!

1. I was a bully as a kid
2. I hate where i am
3. I love taking care of myself but never find time to do so
4. I can proudly say I have the most loving parents and I have many reasons to say this
5. I am impatient like a 5 yr old waiting to open her Christmas gift
6. I want to adopt kids
7. I have always been considered the clown in my family and friends
8. Though it puts me off when I see people getting married, a part of me wishes to have my own family someday
9. I don't trust people
10. I believe a man will fuck anything that moves, even some women will
11. I have been a french fries freak way before I was born
12. I used to have weird dreams as a kid of a tiger around our garden. Weird
13. I can do anything for those that I love, be it my friends or family but once they mind fuck me, I will not even turn around and spit on them (esp my friends)
14. I love being harsh and sarcastic, because that's the only way I can be nice
15. I am an excellent multi-tasker and I know it
16. I love my country very much, but
17. I hate its people
18. joined the second worst major when it comes to social life
19. tend to put my heart into everything i do
20. start of things with the intention of finishing them, but i never do
21. can be very immature
22. I am anything, but ordinary
23. Trying to quit
24. Want to live in australia
25. freak about TV shows

The life I know; isn't what I knew.

Your told many things as a child to listen and choose right from wrong, in everything you do! Well what if you believe in things that are not truly explainable? not acceptable by the rights of the "holy"? Forgive me but I believe I am allowed to feel and believe in what I feel is right. We don't always do what we are told; now do we?

I truly believe it is not a crime to do what makes you happy. But also while you do it your way, don't forget that there is a higher power and to welcome them into your life.
I believe in many things and see things differently then most.......Does that make me an outcast a non-believer?
Well I don't seem to to think so.

Here and there...

We went for a drive today. To our place, after a very long time it was the four of us.
'M' stopped the car for like 5 minutes and i don't know what it was but i starting thinking. Not that i'm not always thinking =P
I wondered what the future held for me,if my dreams would come true or not,If I'd end up being somebody influential and important ,if couple of years down the road would I still find such a peaceful moment with someone i love,would I still be loved as much by my closed ones down the road? I don't know how long I kept thinking and being mesmerized by all of this and i probably would've been there all night and deep in thought had my friend not nudged me out of it!

I told that to chucks and he said it was the weed talking! But I honestly hadn't ever felt so calm and so good ever! And i know it wasn't the weed talking!

So all in all good day today! just came back from M's place it was his birthday today! now everyone i know is 21! not that it matters but still.

'Keep laughing until it's not funny anymore'...That is until something comes out of left field and takes your fucking jaw!

Mr. whatever, I like you!

It's funny how random things can trigger a person to tears. There's always that one thing that makes you want to cry, and it's always that one thing that you can't avoid.

It’s odd how emotional I’ve started to get. I grew up with my dad telling me I was soft whenever I cried so I hate to let people see me cry, and when I feel like I do have to cry I hold it all back because I don’t want to seem like I have a soft spot. . I laugh, that’s about the only real emotion I show, I think. The thing is I’m not even sure if I’m purposely putting on this emotionless front or whether it’s just become second nature.

on the other hand this boy situation is getting worse and worse. I hate that I'm talking to him again. Even if its just random football shit it goes on for hours and that feeling comes back again. he's not to blame but the thing is that he's the first guy after so so long that makes me want to close the distance.. and that's what kills me. I hate it when he makes me smile and think about stuff other than my shitty life... but I can't have it, I can't have him, I can't have any of it right now... maybe I've just been holding on to something which isn't there!

Full of nothing!

I have never felt this empty. I was just lying there in bed and i never felt this empty, So full of nothing!
I just got done with 2nd year finals a day before and I should be celebrating but all i can think about is 3rd year books and instruments and teachers and schedules and groups and i feel so dismantled. I was wondering if I'm the only one who was thinking so much into it and why the hell is everyone else so fucking calm.
I felt so lonely, felt like i had a shortage of friends! everyone i know is busy hooking up, getting married or doing something or the other and here i am just doing nothing!
I think I'm going to die alone watching football or complaining about it!
When the hell did life get so fucking complicated.I'm still in shock. Someone get me out of this state of shock. I need to prepare myself for more unexpected turns coming my way. I should have known better than to assume that it was all coming to a settlement for all of us.
I’m not laughing anymore. I’m so so afraid. That’s totally new to me. I'm totally new to me =(

me being sappy =P

I felt like writing a little something about all the great and not so great friends I have. So here goes…

Anum: it’d be unfair if I didn’t begin with her. I have known this girl since 4th grade and man she’s been there since forever! She talked to me, listened to me, made me laugh, let me cry when I wanted to and made everything seem so much better by all that she said. Thanks for being there. . I’ll have to write way too much to say how much she means to me. She knows how much she means to me and that’s enough... I love you woman. And your here there left right and centre every time I need u. I don’t know how we got around to being this close but you’ve cheered me at times when nobody could!

Hina: is next on my list. Ive known her for about 5 years for now. We’ve done every possible thing together. Yes. Literally. We always claimed and were proud of the fact that we had never fought. Well, it was ALMOST so let’s forget about that one time and still pretend that never happened. I have to thank her for always inquiring about me and keeping track of how things were with me. I hope u always stay happy :) and thanks for caring so bloody much!

Shahzeem: with whom I’ve shared the weirdest relationship possible. Every moment spent, every fight, everything said and not said is special to me... I won’t say more. I just want you to know that there’s unconditional and oh yes platonic love here... and will continue to be because what I’ve shared with you is no random bond. It’s always going to stay special. And I don’t know how I deal with myself or just simply stay normal without talking to u every day.

Hussain: I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry about how things turned out and I’m sorry for being how I was. The fun times we spent together were nothing but fun. And extremely memorable! You know me and understand me better than anyone in this world. You’re there for me when I need u. thanks for it all and I WILL miss you. And I do miss you every friggin day!

Natasha: we lost it together and said crazy stuff to each other and talked all day all night. Those times were a hell lot of fun. Whatever may happen and however weird things might get. I love you loads and loads. And will always always always love u and be there for u all the time. Whenever the hell you need me!

Zain: is another one I would like to mention cause without him and his yet to be understood sense of humor cracked me up at times when I really needed to crack up. I want to thank him for listening to me and speak over what I’m saying, to explain things to me in your own way, to make me listen to your speeches and to piss me off but make up in the cutest of ways. It’s hard to believe that I’ve only known u for only 2 years. But that just shows that there’s no 'old new friends' thing. It’s about how much a person means to you. And what all you go through with the person. And your constant support and being there has meant the world to me.

Same goes for zia. After knowing him for quite a while, I came across a whole new person who changed my way of thinking and looking at things. Who was positive and optimistic and taught me how to be the same and who made the last year more amazing than anything. From talking all the time and now spending so much time together, I’ve realized what you’re actually like.

Ambreen,amber,ayesha and shazil: we hardly spent that much time together but the time we did spend together was fun and I hope it continues to be that way!

Sarah: for being excited about everything happening in my life. Remembering all the important occasions and and everything. The times we've spent together, good AND bad are just too memorable. We’ve been through too much together but in the end it’s worth it. You are or were or are one of my best friends and I can’t imagine the past 2 years of my life without you =) i know you’re difficult sometimes and we have different ways of thinking and I don’t get how we have been getting along for all these years but I do get that u mean a lot to me.. And always will because we've spent all these years, have talked endlessly and have become like family. We don't always agree with each other but we think more alike than most people do and u were there for me every time I did or didn’t ask for u to be there. So thank you!

Dino: lime slushie,kung fu panda,denise,chutia, ur names are endless and regardless of the fact that i dont know know you having known u for about 4 years the times me u and hina have spent always bring a smile to my face. They have been nothing but pure happiness. U make me laugh with ur fucked up stories ur endless talks about peeing and shit. my life would be colourless without knowing you!

Roger for #14!

Roger federer lost the australian open final today! =(
The moment when Roger started crying ,I realized, well, it was not just a game. It was a lot more than that to them. He perhaps realized that he had reached his peak and now its all downhill.
Even if he continues for another three to four years, something on his face tells me there is something going on in his mind other than tennis . As for the game, I think Roger himself knows he is against this huge thick high wall which he may not be able to dismantle. Ever. I think he knows this was the best moment to achieve that 'pinnacle' which has still eluded him.
But nadal being the true champion he is offered his reassurance, turning to Federer and telling him that he will one day surpass Sampras. And that he is already a great champion.
And boy i agree with nadal!